Good habits or bad habits, motherhood is a journey unlike any other. I pray this blog post enriches your motherhood journey and you walk away equipped with new ideas that will bless your family.
When you hear “effective motherhood habits,” do you sharply inhale and question whether or not you’re a good mom? Do you wonder if the habits you have now are good?
The Oxford Dictionary defines effective as “successful in producing a desired or intended result.”
So let me ask the question this way –
Do the motherhood habits you have right now prepare you and your children for where you want to be in 5, 10, or 15 years?
Because when we talk about “effective motherhood habits” in this blog post, that’s our goal. A home, a relationship with our children, and the seasoned mother we want to be in 5, 10, or 15 years.
Don’t get me wrong. There are healthy habits everyone can cultivate! Don’t drink too much caffeine, get good sleep, get some sunshine every day, read a book.
But if we don’t get to do those things every day, that doesn’t mean we don’t have healthy habits, or that we’re bad mothers.
So as we dive in, remember to give yourself grace as the Lord gives you grace.
We’re all here to steward our families the best way we know how.
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What is a “Healthy Mom”?
Is it the latest workout routine? Is it meeting your daily intended protein intake?
Let’s work out what a healthy mom is first. From there, we can figure out what makes good motherhood habits and bad motherhood habits.
Signs of a Healthy Mom
At our core, we can’t function without food, water, and sleep.
As Christians, we can’t function without God. So we read the Bible, pray constantly, deny our selfish desires, and serve others.
So when we merge those seven things, we have a great foundation for the beginnings of a healthy mom! As we link arms with God and nourish our bodies instead of burning them out, we can work to fulfill the needs of others because our basic needs are already fulfilled.
But we still can’t “pour from an empty cup.”
So as we encourage our children and friends to read great books and foster great hobbies, we must also do those things! (Let’s be real – we’re mothers! We may not have immense amounts of time to commit to hobbies, but the goal is to always be trying.)
My hobbies include scrapbooking, reading, writing, cooking, gardening, raising chickens, and drinking coffee with friends.
Other hobby ideas can include working out, knitting, painting, sewing, hiking, baking, crocheting – the list goes on and on!
Finally, I encourage you to fan the flames of your marriage. Continue to date your spouse. Talk about your hobbies. Take your husband out for a cup of coffee!
Your children and your motherhood are a product of your marriage. Give it the priority it deserves and nurture it!
Now that our interests are fulfilled, we can start looking to the future. This is where we can stretch ourselves and grow!
Ask yourself questions like – Who do we want to be? What will our life look like? How can we get “there”?
Keep the answers to these in a journal, word document, or a piece of paper taped to your mirror. If you don’t reference these, you can easily lose sight of your vision!
Let’s dive into the list of habits that can get you where you want to be.
15 Effective Motherhood Habits Any Mom Can Develop
As a mom, it may feel like you don’t have much time to do the things that will enrich you. But you do!
So as you look at this list, don’t be afraid to move things around, get rid of what isn’t working for you, or use these tips in your ways for your circumstances.
1. Schedule quality time with your husband, children, and friends
As we balance the tasks of everyday life, it’s important to always prioritize the relationships within everyday life. Especially if we want these relationships to survive the test of time.
Consider including check-in times with every member of your family, as well as friends.
This time doesn’t need to be elaborate or planned. When you’re tucking your children into bed every night, ask them things like “What was your favorite part of your day?” or “How did you feel loved today?”
To sneak in moments with your spouse, consider sharing a cup of coffee before you start your day. Ask them for prayer requests, not just what they’re going to do that day.
These precious souls are why we do what we do!
Checking in with friends may be trickier to pull off.
I try to keep up with friends by inviting them over for coffee, sending cards, sending a quick text message, and praying for them. When I’m able, I give them a call and check-in. I’m also sure to leave a voicemail. I want to make every effort I can!
2. Work with a daily to-do list
If you feel like you’re drowning in responsibility, it’s time to get organized.
There are rhythms to every day, and there are responsibilities to every day. You have the power over both.
At the beginning of my week, I take a moment to consider what needs to get done that week. Then I assign each task a day.
As my week progresses, I can move things around however I need to. But I’m always in control.
3. Accept what you can move on from what you can’t
Control doesn’t mean I get everything done. Control means this is my life and I get to decide what to do.
So if I’m running out of time, or another task has taken priority, I have the confidence to move a task forward or drop it completely.
Does that make me a bad mom? Nope! Does that make me a failure? Not at all!
By giving myself the grace to manage what I can manage and move what I can’t, I have freed up so much in my schedule. And give me the ability to plan my life more in line with our family priorities!
This also goes for routines and rhythms that may not be working out for our family.
A new homeschool curriculum could promise wonders for my children. Making my beauty products could be something I’m incredibly interested in.
But if I’m pulling my hair out trying to get my child to work with a specific curriculum or I’m up until midnight trying to make everything from scratch, neither one of those things is truly serving my family. They’re just stressing me out!
So when you find what works for you, move on from what doesn’t.
4. Look to positive role models
It’s easy to think we’re making progress because social media told us so. It’s another thing to see that success worked out in our own lives.
Don’t let the highlight reel of social media convince you you’re doing a bad job.
Instead, rely on seasoned, knowledgeable women who have walked through your season of life. Let them be your guide.
5. Prioritize nourishing food
If you’re running on your child’s PB&J scraps and crackers you found in your car, I promise you are going to burn out.
Now, I’m not saying you should only eat organic and never touch another piece of chocolate cake. But I am saying you can buy a water bottle and try to drink enough water every day.
When you’re grocery shopping, maybe you opt for trail mix and beef jerky as your diaper bag snacks instead of candies or a cereal bar.
When you’re planning your menu for dinner, perhaps you add an extra vegetable to your salad. Or add a roasted vegetable as a side (our favorites are roasted broccoli or sweet potatoes! Both are so versatile and can be added to meals like meatloaf, lasagna, burgers and hot dogs, soup, and more!)
Do your research and start making small changes. They all add up!
6. Get enough sleep every night
We’ve all heard how important sleep is, right? The common saying is eight hours every night.
When I became a mother, and as I nursed my baby, I began to wonder how critical sleep was. How could someone expect me to get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep when I had a baby to nurse?
If you’re in a season of little kiddos like I am, tend to your children and worry about sleeping another time. Give yourself that grace.
We know sleep helps our brain and body repair itself, encourages our thoughts to come quickly, and bolsters our immune systems (all taken from this article).
So get sleep where you can get it. You can help this process along by staying off of your phone close to bedtime, instituting a bedtime for yourself, cutting out your afternoon cup of coffee, and exercising daily.
7. Limit screen time
My opinions on screens aren’t generally positive. And it’s not the screens that are the culprit.
It’s what we do with them.
Social media is a breeding ground for comparison, selfishness, and heartache. It’s rife with everyone promoting their best.
TV shows and movies that aren’t rated for murder, language, and sexual immorality are getting harder and harder to find.
Sure, there are things like content filters, deleting social media apps, or getting blue light glasses to prevent the stimulating effects of screens. But what if you cut them out entirely?
That’s my challenge to you. What are ways you can decrease your screen time this week? Is there a book you’ve been wanting to read? Is there a hobby you’ve been wanting to take up?
8. Reduce your busy schedule
Sometimes, over-scheduling can come from wanting to please everyone around you. Sometimes, it just happens! As we add children to our families or start exploring other interests, business just creeps in.
I encourage you to periodically take time to audit your family’s calendar.
Invest in what works for you and your family. Step back from what doesn’t help your family thrive.
Calendar audits are also a great way to consider what is coming for your family. Are there goals you want to achieve, but may not know how? Create steps for how you can accomplish those goals and start working toward them!
9. Set boundaries on your family’s time
Outside commitments can wreck your family’s schedule (or control it completely) if you let it.
Establishing healthy boundaries on time and energy is one of the most important things you can do for your family and model for your children.
If you haven’t already done a time audit, do one now! While you’re prioritizing what stays and what goes, ask yourself some questions:
- Why am I keeping certain activities over others?
- What makes an activity a priority? Will I participate in those activities because I love them or because they benefit my family?
- How will I incorporate new activities? Will I exchange new activities for old ones?
10. Prioritize your physical health
Fresh air and physical activity should be a priority for every mother.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying you need to find a Pilates group near you when lifting your wiggly, 20-pound toddler could easily double as a workout!
I am saying staying cooped up inside all day just staring at your child isn’t good for anyone.
Get outside! You can go on family hikes, explore what’s in your backyard, explore your area parks, and get together with friends at a park for lunch!
For a little more physical activity, consider wrestling with your children, going to a walking trail every week, or simply walking around your neighborhood twice a day.
11. Schedule a daily quiet time
Finding time for yourself as a busy mom is easier said than done, right?
Here are a few ways I find quiet time as a stay-at-home, homeschool mom.
– I get up before my children wake up.
– I encourage my children to complete activities independently.
– As my children play outside, I sit in the sun and read a book. Every two pages or so, I check in on them. You could easily swap out a book for your favorite, mobile hobby.
– We have a mandatory quiet time/ nap time every day. For at least an hour, my children play in their rooms or take a nap, if they need one.
– I partner interests with mandatory tasks. While I fold the laundry or cook a meal, I also listen to a podcast or read a book.
12. Dabble in self-care activities!
A happy mom is what you make it. And that doesn’t mean you have to forego all of your interests.
When I talk about self-care, I’m not talking about locking yourself in the bathroom for hours on end. I am talking about the fun, pampering-type experiences that may not happen every week, or even every month.
Self-care, as a definition, is looking at everything in your life and working toward enriching each portion. It’s everything we’ve talked about – getting enough sleep, eating nourishing food, taking a moment for yourself every day.
Self-care activities could be going out for a manicure every once in a while. It could also be getting a massage, getting a facial, or attending a specialty workout class.
Maybe self-care for you is locking yourself in the bathroom for hours on end! A warm bath can fix a myriad of issues.
If you are looking for self-care gift ideas for a mom who may not be able to get out of the house right now, check out these gift ideas for stay-at-home moms!
13. Acknowledge old behavior, but work toward the future
When you embrace change in motherhood, it will make you a happier mom.
Take everything that we’ve been talking about in this blog post – opting out of activities that don’t serve our family, setting strict boundaries on our time, scheduling quality time with friends and family, and finding alone time, just to name a few.
What if we truly prioritized changing our lives to make those things happen?
It’s easy to get wrapped up in the monotony of things that have to get done every single day. You’re probably doing dishes, running a load of laundry, breaking up sibling squabbles, shuffling kids to activities, and trying to keep a level head through it all.
Because you have so much going on, it may be hard to break bad habits.
Let’s be real – if it’s working, why fix it?
Breaking bad habits can be hard work. But don’t let a bad habit stay just because you know it’s hard to break!
I want you to envision where you want to be. Do you struggle to stay organized? Do you struggle to encourage others? Make a conscious effort to work on organization and encouragement!
Do you struggle to date your spouse? Do you struggle with saying no to people? Say yes to finding healthy ways to enrich your relationships with the people around you!
When we embrace changing bad habits in motherhood, we can truly start to work on being the best mom we can be.
14. Get a jump on tomorrow
At the end of the day, the last thing I want to be thinking about is the next day.
I usually want to take a shower, put my feet up, and soak up how quiet the house is!
However, there are a few things you could do before going to bed that will help you be a good mother in the morning.
- Do you drink coffee or tea? Make sure you have coffee already ground and your favorite mug is clean! If you drink tea, consider filling your kettle at night.
- Lay out your clothes for your morning workout.
- Get your children’s morning activities or school bags ready.
- Decide on an outfit for the next day.
- Prepare an easy breakfast, like overnight oats or breakfast casserole. If you haven’t already, simply decide what you’re making for breakfast and write it on a sticky note for your morning self to see.
All of these ideas may seem like little things. And they are!
But the little things can seem like big things when we are trying to wake up, field questions from a curious toddler, and get the house going in the morning.
15. Embrace change
The “right balance” of nourishing food, activity, and self-care may look different when you have a newborn and a toddler versus two toddlers.
Engaging with friends will look different if it’s solo over a cup of coffee versus when you’re corralling your children at the park.
As your motherhood journey twists and turns, it’s a good idea to welcome those changes in direction with open arms.
I want you to remember the first time you made a mistake as a mother. Do you remember what a difficult time you had forgiving yourself for it?
Today, you are an older, wiser mom. A new mom. And you can apply what you know from your mistakes to your motherhood journey today and tomorrow.
Embracing change is founded on the same principle.
We can only learn so much about the developmental stage our children are in. And there are always urgent asks that will come at us.
But when we have decided mentally and emotionally to be prepared for anything that comes our way, we are much less likely to feel the guilt that comes with changes that come our way, too.
Happy mothers are…
…what you make them!
If you’re a fellow stay-at-home mom, our professional lives are also our personal lives.
And that can be hard to measure success!
Success for me is a healthy meal, a little fun, and a lot of time spent with my family. And I get to make those markers for success!
You know the great thing? You get to determine your success.
More on Motherhood
I truly value my alone time as a SAHM. But with sick days, laundry piling up, and an endless request for snacks, it never seems like I can have a moment to myself!
That is until I really started looking for pockets of alone time in my day.
I compiled all of those pockets of time in this blog post. I also offer you other tips, like outsourcing common tasks and encouraging your children to play independently.
Take a look at how you can get a few moments of quiet in How to Schedule Alone Time as a SAHM.
Follow me on Pinterest for more motherhood and homemaking inspiration!
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